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1. This is off the topic by ALOT… but I want it to be said here… and if it’s a topic of it’s own that works too. I just feel the need to say this. First off I think I should mind my own business. Not because I don’t care, Not because I’m not offended and hurt, but because Last time I tried to help a situation like this it just made my friends who I care about, put me in the middle and somehow it’s MY fault. It’s not.
   I will remain generic and remain nameless. If those who this is about read this then they know what I am talking about. I know some folks… who are family and who have members in the military. I know some folks… who perhaps made some mistakes while the people they love are off training or fighting. I would like to say this. There is NO excuse and I am disappointed. It really makes me angry. I don’t understand and I hope I never will. Shame on you. Forever is just that. Forever. Yes military folks are hard to love hard to deal with and their jobs take much away from you. They take alot away from him too. It’s a sacrifice they make for YOU and the family.
   I don’t really know what to say to this news. I’m disappointed. Like a sister to me cept you let me down. Like a brother to me and he puts you on a pedestal.
   Our job isn’t easy… your job isn’t easy… get off your high horse, stop being selfish. I’m very angry with the news I heard tonight. Get your act together!
   that’s all i’ll say about that. I’d like to say more but i’ll leave it at that. I love you both… woman you’re a good person get you’re act TOGETHER !!! sorry to butt in but i heard some news and wow i was shocked.

   Comment by Gr@yM@n — June 27, 2009 #

2. Baby, everything you said is right on the money. Belive me I am still in shock. I can’t belive that she would pull that, I really can’t. But i know you are doing the right thing by staying out of it. But that doesn’t mean that se can’t still be his friend. her’s is another question. But I honestly think that we can still be his friend and still try to stay out of it. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe they will work it out, maybey they won’t. Maybe she will come to her senses and realize that waht she did was stupid and beg his forgiveness and they can start over. The one thing I don’t want to see happen is him give up completely on his carreer thinking that it will make things better. There is only bad things that could come from that. He would end up resenting her for the rest of his life. But you said it perfectly. Your job isn’t easy, your job is three million times harder than my life could ever be, but I am always proud of you and always there for you. I hated having to actually email you what had happened but I felt that there are some things that should not be kept from you unless it is during a really busy time for you. But let me say this again. Everything you said si dead on. It is a completely selfish act, and one that should have never happened. I love you. I love your dog even though I want to duct tape her mouth shut at times. I miss you with everything I have and I can’t wait to have you home again.

   Comment by d — June 28, 2009 #

3. He is right and you are too D.

   I am glad you two are mature enough to realize what a good deal you have with each other.

   Comment by Administrator — June 29, 2009 #

4. I talked to her a little through e-mail. It’s hard for a hard headed guy such as myself to remain silent. So I’m getting involved some but doing my best to stay out of it. One thing I have realized with this and another very similar even in which i didn’t stay out of and now i hate the guy. people are always going to reason themselves into believing why they are right and they aren’t the bad guy. i’ve done it. and i’ve seen it in others. course we don’t want to see ourselves as bad people. so you reason this and reason that and wow next thing you know it doesn’t sound so bad so it’s not bad cuz i’m not bad. maybe you are a bad person maybe you aren’t a bad person fact is what you did is bad. daddy once told me son right or wrong pick one. but if you’re wrong admit you’re wrong.
   i don’t know… it just bothers me more that i have to sit and watch what i just sat and watched it’s like reading a book a second time. i know how the story is going to end. nothing really i can do about it. they will say “on no this is different” or “you don’t understand” or “it happened this way not that way” ya know what. fact is i seen this story before and i seen how it ends. that’s all i can say. 1 + 1 always equals 2 it’s not shit i can make up. this happened then this happened it always equals BAD. it’s not me i’m not just making shit up to be negative. i wish sometimes you could tell someone hey there. one plus one equals 2 and they can go oh thanks i needed that answer. that’s not the one i want i should try a different equation to get the RIGHT answer.

   Comment by Gr@yM@n — June 29, 2009 #

5. well i got a call from him last night and he told me to tell you thank you for talking to her. He said they spent saturday night and all day sunday and they are going to work it out. He also said that they are also going to start going back to church and start praying more together. They both want to make it work. So maybe what you had to say to her worked. You should feel proud of yourself. I told him anytime she needs advice as far as deployments go I would be more than willing to talk to her and help her through the hard times, because when you guys first leave I think those are the worst. then waiting for youto come back and it is getting close, those are pretty bad too. but I told him to tell her that I will help her get through them if she needs it. He seems a lot happier. So hopefully keeping our fingers crossed eerything will work out and everyone will live happily ever after. I just wanted you to know that what ever it was you said to her, actually helped in this situtation, whereas in the first situation it wasn’t even your fault that it didn’t work, it was his stupidity and him having to be right all the time and screw everyone eles attitude that he will probably have for the rest of his life. But you did good baby, you really did and I am proud of you because you got just enough involved to make her sit down and think, maybe I need to change this before it is too late. I just wanted to make you feel better.

   Comment by d — June 29, 2009 #

6. I do have to say Mr. B. At least for me it’s not that I realize what a good thing I have. For me, the one reacuuring thought that always goes through my mind is he is my best friend. I think with that we will survie for ages. Yes there will be times when we get mad at each other, and yes there will be times where we get aggrivated with each other, but as long as we remember that we are each others best friend then we will get through it. Just putting in my two sense. Maybe naive, but it is how i belive.

   Comment by d — June 29, 2009 #

7. d that truely is great news! I just got on the phone and told Ma, she got all misty. We will keep praying for them.

   And as far as you and Gr@ym@n go, bring friends first is critical. Everything else is minimal.

   Ma and I used to put things on a 1-10 scale before arguing about things.

   In other words is this really as important as a broken shoe lace? Or is it Huns at the gate? It helps put things in perspective.

   I think it also helps that you have been deployed too and understand exactly what that is like.

   Thank you for being you.

   Comment by Administrator — June 29, 2009 #

8. well i’m glad. I’m not sure if i helped or pissed her off. i’m glad to hear that things are going well but she hasn’t answered my last e-mail which leads me to believe i may have pissed her off.

   uh oh the one to ten scale. I HATE that. LOL mom would always throw that at me. problem is my one to ten scale is somewhat skewed. 10 being no air support and one being everything else. LOL

   Comment by Gr@yM@n — June 29, 2009 #

9. The dreaded 1-10 scale.. haaaaaaaaa.

   Well it’s good to simplify things. I understand the 10 being no air support. A critical element for lightly armed diplomats.

   Maybe you helped maybe not. You at least told her how you feel. Perhaps that will make one plus one come closer to two.

   Comment by Administrator — June 29, 2009 #

10. lol ;) ya like that? mom would always say that when i was making a 1 into a 20 and it always made me more mad then when i originally thought that 1 was a 20. but then she’s right and dangit that just made it worse. by the time she was done giving me the “is it 1 or 10?” i had already made it a 523.6 lol course maybe i have a temper sometimes… :D hehe
    yes a lightly armed diplomat it’s important to have air support so the lack of would definately rate closer to a 10 for me depending on the circumstances. in the instance i refer to in my head it was definately a 10 that day. lol

    maybe i tried to remain generic and mostly just used examples from what is going on in this other friends life. i just say here’s what is going on and here’s how it’s ending. maybe i got them closer to two… maybe just getting some things off her chest got her closer to two. i don’t know. maybe she’s mad and she wants to fix this to shut me up… that works too. lol

    Comment by Gr@yM@n — June 29, 2009 #

11. I have heard of the dreaded 1-10 scale, and no offense to Mrs. B., I have been told that if I use it there will be complete silence in the house for a good while. LOL You? A temper? Never. YOu are always just a bundle of sunshine hun, especially when a dog annoys you. But wait you never have a temper, so the dogs could never annoy you. LOL But I am glad that they are going to try and work it out. It isn’t going to be easy, but I think if they both put an effort into it, I think it will work.
    Love all you guys

    Comment by d — June 29, 2009 #

12. I am a bundle of sunshine. it’s just them damn solar flares that sometimes make me hard to be around hehe. :D like how i twisted that?
    i’m glad to hear they are talkin and trying to get back to church. I been tryin to get them to go with us every now n then.. i think it will help. It’s good to have that solid base and remember there’s someone bigger then you will ever be who decides things and helps you through other things.

    Comment by Gr@yM@n — June 30, 2009 #

13. Sunshine and solar flares …. the hallmark of a warrior.

    I pray for the best for them too.

    Comment by Administrator — June 30, 2009 #

14. solrar flares my butt. Sometimes those “solar flares” can be down right fire showers, but Mr. B is right. It takes those solar flares to keep you strong. So keep your darn solar flares, I can handle it. I have my ways. LOL. but it is a really good thing that they are going to work on it. I hope the best for them.

    Comment by d — June 30, 2009 #

15. Well put d.

    I vote we call him Sun-Flares McGurk.

    Comment by Administrator — June 30, 2009 #

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